The post I didn’t know I was waiting for
Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account
This gives me hope
"advances in technology have made life the simplest it has ever been but i, a dribbling shitbaby, am upset about this because i’m jealous that future generations of children will not grow up as primitively as i did, but i’m disguising this jealousy as nostalgia and superiority"
Words to live by
Let’s give a moment of silence to those poor unfortunate souls who have to live with a micropenis.
Zodiac Capricorn Facts — Leave it to Capricorn to prove you wrong if you try to assassinate their character in any way….
he’ll leave a mark on you
#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party
I can’t stop. There are too many:
#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey
Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.
SHIA LEBEOUF LIVE
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM DEAD THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM